It Wasn't Supposed to End Like This
by bloodyrosemoon
Summary: Post Endgame beware spoilers. Peter dies instead of Tony and Tony will stop at nothing to get Peter back no matter how many universes he has to mess up to do it. Heavy Starker.
1. Chapter 1

"This can't be how it was supposed to end. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him but he's gone. He was just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, he should have never been fighting in that battle. He wasn't supposed to try and be the hero, it should have been me god damn it." Tony yelled, pacing the floor of his temporary lab in the basement of his cabin home. In one sweep he knocked all the partially built tech off the lab table. Tony sank to his knees among the scraps of metal and partially built machines. "We ran out of time kid. It was never supposed to be this complicated. I was gonna wait until you turned 18. I never was gonna marry Pep and you and I were gonna be in it for the long hall, but now you are both gone and I'm left to raise Morgan alone." Tony's voice got quieter as he went on and his voice was barely a whisper as he finished "I love you 3000 kid." Right as Tony lapsed into silent sobs, the door to the lab opened with a creak and Rhodes walked in wearing his best suit.

"It's time Tony." Rhodey said in a gentle voice, offering a hand to help Tony up. Accepting the offered hand Tony stood on shaking legs and smoothed his rumpled suit. Giving only a nod to acknowledge that he had understood his friend Tony began to walk out the door and up to the living room where he knew Morgan would be waiting.

"Come on sweetie, we have to go." Tony said, trying to put some cheer into his voice so his 5 year old daughter wouldn't see how much pain he was in. She had never met Peter but Tony had spent the past 5 years telling her about the friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Morgan hopped off the couch where she had been sitting with Happy and clung to her father's leg until he lifted her into his arms. She buried her face into Tony's neck because even though she was young she could tell her daddy wasn't okay she just didn't understand why. The walk to the car was short but to Tony it felt like miles. Every step was just one closer to Tony's greatest nightmare. After strapping in Morgan, Tony uncharacteristically went and got in the passenger seat. Rhodes and Happy exchanged a look, they both knew if he wasn't driving Tony sat in the back to feel more important. They didn't understand just why Tony was this broken, sure they knew the two were close, but they both thought that friendship was as far as it went. Happy climbed into the driver's seat and tried to strike up a conversation with Tony as they pulled out of the driveway, but the man who sat in the passenger seat was not the spoiled, playboy who loved to hear himself talk. He was a broken shell of the once vibrant, outgoing man he had been before he lost the love of his life and the woman who had been there to put the pieces of him back together the first time.

All Tony could manage was to hold in his tears so that the other occupants of the car wouldn't see. As they pulled into the church parking lot, Tony almost lost it. He opened the door with robotic movements. Forgetting Morgan was still in the car, Tony walked into the church praying that he would walk through the door and Peter would be standing there with his goofy grin saying "I got you good, huh Mr Stark?" but deep down Tony knew that would never happen. Peter was gone and Tony had held his broken body in a bone crushing hug begging whatever god or gods were out there to make Peter's heart start beating again.

Any other day Tony would have appreciated the beauty that the church held, but his eyes were fixed on the casket at the long aisle between the rows and rows of pews. He didn't notice May softly crying in the front row or the rest of the remaining avengers sitting together or what seemed like the rest of New York city who had shown up to mourn the loss of Spiderman. Tony's legs carried him forward without him even trying until he was directly in front of the casket and could see the still lifeless face of Peter Parker. Tony collapsed to his knees as sobs wracked his body. He wasn't aware how long he stayed like that before an arm gently wrapped around him and a soft voice spoke into his ear.

"Mr. Stark, I know it hurts, but we have to be strong for him." Tony turned his head to look at who dared interrupt him. A wave of fiery anger washing over him until he saw it was May, her bloodshot eyes soft as she gazed at Tony. He immediately softened meeting her broken gaze because she was the one person who's grief could possibly match his. She had lost the only family she had left. Rising with her he followed May to the two available seats in the first pew. The chaos of his mind finally cleared enough to wonder where his daughter ended up and glancing back, he saw that Morgan sat with Rhodey and Happy among the rest of the Avengers. Tony finally took in just how many people showed up to say goodbye. It made Tony begin to cry again seeing just how loved Peter was. Once they had sat down, May pulled Tony to her because that's what she was best at, comforting others. Tony sank into her embrace, tears still streaming down his face. Gently, she ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed his back just like if he was a small child. A few moments later the funeral began and May released Tony so that they could both focus on the ceremony. After what felt like hours of Tony crying as he listened to the speaker talking about Peter and then May's eulogy, it was time for the funeral procession to the cemetery.

Once more Tony rose and walked to the car with robotic movements. His heart breaking once more in his chest, knowing that the moment was coming when Tony would have to say goodbye for good this time. He would never see Peter's goofy smile or hear him giggling over the stupidest shit ever again and Tony just wasn't ready for that but he had to be. He felt like he was in some sort of waking nightmare as he rode silently. The funeral procession moved slowly through the street to the cemetery and as they ride went on Tony began to notice the people lining the streets. Hundreds of people stood on the sidewalks of Brooklyn with signs and costumes honoring their friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Tears welled up in Tony's eyes once more seeing all the kind things that had been written about the kid. After what felt like hours they reached the cemetery and Tony could see the pile of dirt next to the freshly dug grave.

After they reached the cemetery it seemed like things suddenly were on fast forward. Suddenly all of Peter's closest friends and family were taking turns throwing a shovel full of dirt onto the freshly lowered casket. Before he knew it everyone had taken a turn except him and the gravedigger was about to start filling in the rest of the dirt. Almost everyone had walked away at this point. Rhodey and Wanda had taken Morgan back to the house after Tony had waved them away saying he would make his own way back. He walked up to the gravedigger and slipped him a couple hundreds to leave. Tony was going to finish this himself. May still stood near the grave watching Tony's actions with understanding in her eyes. Taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves, Tony picked up the shovel that lay on the ground near the grave and began to shovel. When he was finished, he had no clue how long he had been shoveling, but when he finished the sun was beginning to set and he was the only person left near the grave. Sitting down in the dirt in front of Peter's headstone. In the dying light of the New York sunset it hit Tony. This didn't have to be the end. He could get Peter back and they could have their happy ending. A wave of angry passion washed over Tony and he stood up staring once more at the headstone.

"I'm going to get you back kid and I don't care how many universes I have to tear apart to do it." They had gone back in time to get all the stones so what is stopping Tony from getting Peter back. Tony had spent so much of his life giving up everything he had to protect the world and the universe, just this once the universe was going to give something back to him.


	2. Chapter 2

***Peter is of age in this fic and was getting ready to go to college when Endgame happened***

"_Hey Mr. Stark." Peter said with that goofy smile on his face. Tony's heart warmed hearing the boy's cheerful voice bouncing through his otherwise silent lab. He loved days like this now that Peter was done with school and could spend his days with the boy. Making him laugh just so Tony could see that smile as many times as he possibly could. He hadn't been this happy his entire life. Sure the alcohol and money made for some good times but Tony hadn't ever had true happiness. Even with the family he had found in the Avengers there had always been something missing, and once Peter came into his life he found it. All the days spent with the two of them locked in the lab had changed Tony. Peter had made Tony a better man. While Tony had been reminiscing he didn't notice Peter walking up and sliding his body between Tony and the lab table. Tony blinked and tilted his head back to look at Peter's face from his position on the bench. Peter was smiling down at Tony like he was the only man in the world and Tony swore he felt his heart skip a beat. An overwhelming wave of heat swept over Tony and he pulled Peter into his lap. Tony was overcome with a need to be close to the other man. "God Pete I lo…"_

Tony snapped awake his heart aching from the dream, but this is how Tony usually woke up, aching from the nightmares or memories that were sometimes worse. Tony's days went by in a monotonous routine. Morgan was staying Clint and his family for a few weeks because everyone agreed Tony was in no state to take care of her on his own, so Tony's day consisted of him working in his lab from sun up until around 5 when Clint would video chat him so that Tony and Morgan could see each other. After that is when Tony would start drinking until he passed out around 2 or 3 in the morning only to wake back up after a few hours only to start the whole routine again. Rhodes would stop in occasionally to make sure Tony didn't die from starvation and the only reason Tony would put up with it was because he couldn't get Peter back if he was dead and he would get Peter back. Unfortunately for Tony, getting Peter back without collapsing the universes was proving to be more difficult than he had guessed.

After yet another failed calculation, Tony rested his head in his hands. Everytime another simulation failed another piece of Tony's heart broke. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He wasn't ready to let go of Peter, he couldn't give up on him. Suddenly Tony shot up from his seat and his fist went crashing through the wall next to him. He didn't need Rhodey or Steve to be there to tell him that he was self destructing, but Tony didn't care about living if he didn't have Peter. In his agony he forgot briefly about Morgan, all he wanted was to see the love of his life again nothing else mattered then. It wasn't until Tony registered the pounding at the door that he realized he still had responsibilities that he couldn't give up on. Dusting himself off, Tony made his way to the front door and opened it to find Clint standing there holding Morgan. Clint's eyes immediately widened in concern upon seeing the state Tony was in, but Tony's eyes were on his daughter who looked overjoyed at seeing her father in person again. Before Clint knew what was happening Tony reached out and pulled his daughter into his arms.

"Hey peanut, what are you doing here?" Tony said burying his face into his daughters messy brown hair so similar to his own. He hadn't fully realized that the deep ache he had been feeling inside his heart was partially caused by the separation from his daughter. He was in no way okay but things hurt a little less now that he had his beautiful little girl in his arms. Morgan was the reason Tony would keep going. He would start taking better care of himself and she would stay here with him where he could do his best to give her the childhood he wasn't truly allowed. Tony was suddenly startled out of his realization by his daughter squirming in his arms.

"Daddy come on I want to get down." Morgan said wiggling around until her father finally set her on the ground.

"Tony! What the f-...heck did you do to your hand!" Clint exclaimed concern etched onto his face. Clint grabbed it before Tony could hide it behind his back. He looked at it for a few seconds before saying "That's it Tony, I'm taking you to the doctor and then we are finding you a therapist because this can't go on. I know you miss the kid, we all do, and I know you miss him worse because of how close you were but you can't go down this path again. I know I didn't know you before Iron man, but Rhodes has told us stories and none of us want to lose you and Earth can't lose its greatest defender." When he finished talking all Tony could do was stare. It took a lot to make the billionaire speechless but somehow Clint had done it. Before Tony could figure out how to respond Clint had already turned and had begun to lead Morgan back to the car.  
"I really don't need a doctor I swear. Clint really I'm fine and I don't need a therapist. I'll stop drinking and I can take Morgan back. I'm in control." Tony said sounding extremely unconvincing.

"Tony, I love you like a brother and I believe you are capable of so much, but right now you need the support of your family. You can't do this alone. I don't think you are in the right state of mind to take care of Morgan alone, but what if we all take turns coming to stay with you? Just until you are in a better state to take care of you and her. You don't have to see a therapist right now but if you can't get a handle on everything then I'm not afraid to make you. You might be a grown man but sometimes you need someone to take care of you and you have a bunch of issues that you haven't dealt with. Therapists aren't a bad thing I think one could really help you. Now get in the car so I can take you to the hospital or I'm leaving with your daughter." Clint responded before climbing into the driver's seat and started the car. Tony sighed in resignation before locking the door to the house and getting into the other man's black sedan.

"Looks like you've definitely fractured some bones in your hand we are going to have to put a cast on it Mr. Stark." The ER doctor told Tony as he flinched at the use of 'Mr. Stark', his mind immediately going to Peter. Shaking his head to clear it, Tony just nodded already sick of the smell and atmosphere of the hospital. Once the doctor had left Tony looked to where Morgan and Clint sat in the uncomfortable looking hospital chairs. "Come here Morgan sweetheart. I've missed you so much!" Tony said almost desperately. It wasn't until today that he realized how much he missed his daughter. Her smile, her laugh, and her joy reminded Tony of how much he has lost but in a way that made the pain a little easier to bare. Morgan walked over to her father and he helped her onto the bed where she cuddled into him being careful to avoid his "ouchy hand" as she had put it. Tony quickly became absorbed in his daughter, carefully stroking her hair with his good hand and listening intently to her stories of what she had been doing at Clint's house. He was so absorbed in her that he barely noticed when Clint stood and excused himself to run and get himself some coffee. It wasn't long until Morgan drifted off to sleep on her father's chest and not long after Tony hugged her a little tighter to him and drifted off as well. When Clint return and saw the heartwarming scene his heart hurt a little knowing how much Tony was hurting and how much he had missed his daughter, but he knew that one day Tony would heal as long as he had his family of Avengers to help him.


End file.
